I'm a girl, 20 years old to be exact. I guess you could say a woman. I'm from the northern part of the country. Born and raised in Central New York and you can say it, I'm a Yankee. Didn't exactly have the best life growing up but I can't really complain, I mean I had a roof over my head, food on the table, and family in my life. I'm not exactly going to get into why I didn't have the best life growing up, those things will unravel as I go along. I moved to South Carolina last July, a yankee girl in the south not knowing a soul. Not a very good combination if you ask me. People in the south don't like us Yankee's. They think we are rude, fast paced, and go go go all the time. I didn't know a soul when I moved here, I used the internet as a way to get to know people. I know I know, you're thinking that it's dangerous and stupid. Well I have to say I am so glad that I did it but it took me further than I needed to go and now I don't know what to do. Let me tell you all something. I was forced to grow up faster than any other kid my age. I'm more mature than a lot of 20 year olds that you know. I don't like drama, I don't like arguments, I like to focus on me and goals and things I want in life. I have an enormous heart with so much love to give and my emotions are very powerful.
I met the most amazing man via the internet. Lets just say his name is Scott. A real southern man with beautiful blue eyes, broad shoulders, and a smile that melts the heart. We met in the Walmart parking lot in town. The same place we shared our first kiss. Corny I know. I bet you can only imagine how our first date was. Well don't laugh but we bought some beer, drove around on red dirt roads and just really got to know one another. I know the drinking was totally illegal but we didn't get drunk, it was sort of an ice breaker I guess you could say. He really melted my heart. The way he said "I reckon" and "I don't guess so" made me smile from ear to ear. He is in the Marine Corps. Infantry, a machine gunner. He is now over in Afghanistan fighting for our country. Of course I am worried about him, I only knew him 5 months before he was deployed in January. Those 5 months were the most amazing 5 months of my life, I can honestly say I fell in love with that man. It wasn't all rainbows, butterflies, and lust. We have been through more than enough where I have wanted to walk away.
See here is the thing, we never actually committed. I guess you could say we were "seeing each-other." Typically single, but he was all I wanted. He was in a relationship of 5 years 6 months before he met me. The girl broke his heart, he was ready to propose and start a family. She had been seeing someone else the last year of their relationship. He needs more than 6 months before jumping into a relationship after that. I myself just got out of a 2 year relationship from back in NY. The guy in NY is the whole reason I moved to South Carolina. No need to be with someone that makes you miserable. I knew if I stayed in that state I would continue to be with him and never get away. One day I packed my car, me and my cat on a road trip to South Carolina. Scott talked to plenty of girls, I mean he is gorgeous and sweet I can't blame the girls for drooling over him, I did didn't I? He swore to me I was the only one he was with on that level and that the other girls just liked him and he didn't know why because he never said anything out of the way to them. I to this day don't believe that for an instant. Scott came down for Christmas, he stayed with me for 3 weeks straight. It was so amazing, waking up to his blue eyes everyday. Him holding me until I fell asleep every night. We shared our New Years Kiss. I thought I loved my boyfriend of 2 years back in NY. What I feel for Scott is so much more thanthe feelings I had for my Ex don't even touch what I feel for Scott. He knows I love him, I told him I loved him the day he left for Afghanistan. We spent everyday together while he was here. See he was stationed at Camp Lejeune in NC. He would spend every other weekend here in SC, and every other weekend in VA where the rest of his family is. Only seeing him 2 weekends out of the month wasn't enough but it was pure bliss every time. He was able to stay in SC 3 weeks straight before his deployment. I have all of his personal items at my house waiting for him when he comes home in August. He told me he wanted me to have them until he got back, I met all of his family and he met mine. I went to North Carolina and stayed with him his last night in America and was the last one to hug and kiss him goodbye. I can honestly say I am deeply in love with him.
Soon after he leaves I receive messages from a girl in Virginia telling me that he is dating her, I knew all about this girl Scott and I have had conversations and even arguments about her. He reassured me that she had more feelings for him than he did for her and that they don't come close to the feelings he has for me. That was almost 2 months ago and I have soon come to find out that she was lying to try and make me upset and get me out of the picture. There is another girl that leaves him messages all the time telling him she's writing him and sending him stuff and she misses him so much and can't wait to talk to him. This girl is 17 years old and lives 10 hours away from us. I don't understand it. It breaks my heart on so many levels.
In a way I like being in love. Scott is the first thing I think about in the morning, the last thing I think about before I fall asleep, and I even think of him all day. I dream of him at night. Everyday I check the news. I don't get to talk to him often with him being a marine and everything. He has called 4 times since he has been gone and my heart fell out of my chest everytime. I have voicemails and texts saved. I read and listen to them over and over again just to hear his voice and his southern accent.
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